I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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