Having a random hookup so left but love u
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
