my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
that may or may not have been my penis.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
