Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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