just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
