You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
YAS. BRING CRAB.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
