I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
