let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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