this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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