I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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