I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
