I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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