I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
