so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
