Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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