take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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