Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
