I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dignity is for republicans.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
