The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
its liver damage thursday
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
