I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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