Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
