I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
