Pregnant stripper...not hot.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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