Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
