I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Text me some of your sweat
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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