you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
