You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
