Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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