I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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