mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
