bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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