you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
