Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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