NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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