what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
