Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
