do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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