i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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