So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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