Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
