We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
