"it" just moved
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
