dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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