i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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