I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
