i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize