two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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