I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
