The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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