You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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