I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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