No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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