I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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