you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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