Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
