It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
