What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
